Welcome to Embodied Healing with Tianna
Welcome! I'm Tianna. Those who know me, know I've been a storyteller long before I could write words myself. Words have been my solace in life; writing my haven. It often amazes me the paths we take, how they lead us - no matter how looping and serpentine - to our destiny (so close to the word "destination").
Some may scoff at the idea of destiny; I used to myself. . . surely, there's no defined plan for any of us (I've shed that belief long ago)... but what I'm talking about is more along the lines of dharma, recognizing our calling in life and the ways we can be of service to the greater world. I always knew my place in this life is a Healer. I've gone about many different paths to try to accomplish this, many of them false starts and "must"akes (thanks for that one, Becky Louise). I've found community, and lost it. I've helped heal and helped break. I have realized my own wounds, over and over again, and seen the ways that when we do not turn inward to heal ourselves, destruction happens.
When we don't listen to that internal call (our intuition, our Higher Self), we lose our path, we lose our way, and the Universe will conspire to get us back on track (often in a very, very messy manner). It will strip you bare of all that once mattered, all that you once defined yourself by (if you aren't careful), and thrust you out of any situation/community/place you are not meant to be.
I have placed my faith in the Universe, and it has revealed to me over and over again these lessons. I don't often talk about where I came from before I got here, and I no longer feel it serves to look back too far into the past.
I used to think this was the only way to heal; to exorcise our demons by sharing our painful experiences with the world, to delve deep into the past and where we have come from to find our where we are going -- but this just leaves us with our eyes cast backwards instead of ahead.
One thing I will share here, as it serves a purpose, is I first began my "Embodied Healing with Tianna" blog on a safe space I carved out for myself on Instagram (you can follow me there @embodiedhealingwithtianna if you don't already - happy to have you!), in August 2020. This was in the aftermath of intense chaos, pain, desolation. I lost what I felt at the time to be "everything" - in reality, what I lost didn't matter. What I lost was a passion project; an attempt, as I mentioned previously, to help others heal. But I neglected the most vital part of this: I did not allow myself the time or care or safety to heal myself before I tried to help others. And this is a detrimental thing. This is an easy thing to fall into, especially as someone who came from a childhood past of trauma, where people pleasing meant survival and looking out for others' needs first became natural. I didn't live the "oxygen mask" style of life, allowing myself to breathe before trying to help others. And I lost myself completely. To the desires and needs and expectations of others. Until it all fell down around me, and I was standing in shambles. I saw who was remaining to check on me; who was willing to dig into the wreckage and pull me back out, dust me off, and help me stand. Let me tell you: of all the people who I focused on trying to help heal, there were only a handful remaining. Two people who stood by me and my project. A couple others who came to find me. Even my dearest friends fell away. It was a deep feeling of betrayal and it nearly broke me.
My husband is the one who really reached inside the rubble to pull me back out again. He took me out of my self-imposed wasteland and made me feel the sun again. After a suicide attempt that left me in the psych ER for one night in June 2020, I decided I needed to make a change. Reinvent myself - and thus, Trauma Healing with Tianna was born. I have watched this soul project grow, develop, and become something even bigger than I ever thought. To the point where I now feel alive again, I have so many ideas and thoughts for greater projects, and most importantly: I have taken the time to heal myself and look deep within so as not to repeat those mistakes.
Just some of the changes I've made on a full-body/mind/soul level include: Daily meditation & journaling, reading (listening to my inner child), spending time in nature, doing intuitive yoga (moving my body intuitively - also called 'meditation in motion'). I've gone deep into healing my chakras (moving from the Root to the Third Eye, which I am still studying and learning from before moving on to the Crown), and I am currently in an Applied Polyvagal Theory Level I course, which culminates next weekend. I'll be participating in Level II in January, and receive certification so I can teach others.
I am ready to launch in many new ways, and starting this very real blog on my website is only one of them. I lived in a lot of fear for a while that people from my past would find me here, so I remained quiet, hid away out of that fear.
It's finally time to spread my wings and lift off into the great unknown.
So much to come, so much to discover, I am thrilled to have you here, and hope you'll join me on this journey. Feel free to subscribe for blog post updates and more!